The REEF Model — Difficult Conversation Planner

Use this before any conversation that's been sitting on your desk too long. Work through each stage — by the end you'll have an actual opening line, not just an intention. Your answers save automatically in this file on this device.

Ready

Get clear before you speak

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What is the specific behaviour — not the character judgment?

What's the actual impact — on the team, the students, the results?

What's your intention for this conversation? What does a good outcome look like?

Empathy

Understand their side before delivering yours

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What might their perspective be? What don't you know yet?

What genuine, open question will you lead with?

Express

Say it directly, specifically and kindly

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Their DISC style:

D — be direct and brief. They respect straight talk more than cushioning.
I — acknowledge the relationship first, then the issue. Watch for them talking past it.
S — give them time to process; don't expect a reaction in the room. Follow up gently.
C — bring specifics and evidence. Vague feedback will be picked apart, not trusted.

Draft your opening line — the actual words, behaviour + impact

Forward

Agree the next step, then follow up

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What's the agreed next step, in specific terms?

How will you both know it's actually changed?

When will you follow up — put the date in now, not "soon"